Today I resigned from the job where I have been for the last 5 1/2 years in order to write and do my own business full-time. My last day will be May 27th. Right now, I'm feeling a strange mixture of excitement and sadness. Mainly, I'm excited to be embarking on this new path. I mean, I am a little scared at the same time - a little fearful of what lies ahead. But deep down I know I can make it work. I just have to 'get in the game.'

What's disturbing is this sense of sadness that's begun to creep up on me this afternoon. This lump in my throat that begins to well up when I draft another email or do some everyday routine task. It's a sense of loss, really. It's probably natural to feel this way. I mean, when you think about it, I've been a part of this same community of people for the last 5 1/2 years of my life. How could I not feel sadness at leaving it? During my time here, there have been some really great moments and there have also been some really low moments, both at work and in my personal life. But through all those times, there was always the constant sense of security that comes from having a regular job - a place where I know certain things and can perform certain tasks . . . and do so with certainty. It's a sad thing to leave that kind of familiarity. I've felt this way before and, though it's a strange analogy to make, it's very much like leaving behind a close friend or loved one. Even if you know it's the best thing for you, leaving someplace or somebody that feels like 'home' is always hard to do.

Deciding to leave this job was one of the hardest things I've done in a long time. But overall, I know it's a step in the right direction. Instead of feeling sad at what I'm leaving behind, I'm going to opt to feel happy and grateful for the things I've learned over the past several years and for the memories (and friendships) I can take with me.

link to this | comments (1) | File:  Work