Several people have asked me what's the latest on my Mercedes issue. The long and short of it is: there have been some positive developments over the last several weeks, but in the end, I'm still not really certain whether or not I am 'on record' at the DC DMV as having such an automobile.

I made several attempts to contact the nice supervisor lady at the DMV, Ms. Moore. When I was at the DMV, she had told me that she needed to wait on a fax from the place where the microfilm is stored so they could look at the original title. She had taken my number and had said she would call me when the fax came in. That was on a Wednesday, June 22nd. I didn't hear from her that day or the next, but luckily I had been smart enough to get her direct extension. Ha! Always, quick on the toes, eh? I was damn proud of myself for that one. But alas, I was foiled - outsmarted. The extension number turned out to be completely worthless. Every time I called, it either rang non-stop with nobody picking it up, or it went straight to voicemail, but then told me that the voicemail box was full.

So, on the following Tuesday I called the main DMV line and spoke to somebody who said her name was 'Ms. Jackson.' I thought about asking her if that's what I should call her if I was 'nasty,' but thought better of it. Instead, I told her my predicament from the beginning - how I had spoken to Ms. Moore and how she was going to order a facsimile of my original title. Ms. Jackson put me on hold and went to go speak with Ms. Moore. Ms. Jackson came back and said Ms. Moore had no recollection of me or my situation, but she (Ms. Jackson) would help me. Oh thank you, I thought. Here was my angel come to save me from my plight. She told me the facsimile had not been ordered, but she could do that for me and call me back when it came in. I had been fooled by that one once before and it still smarted, but after weighing my options, I calmly considered that I had no other choice. Besides, Ms. Jackson seemed nice. Surely she wouldn't do that to me. I asked her how long she thought it might take and she said about 30 minutes. I looked at my watch. It was 3:30 pm. "Sure, that would be swell!" I said enthusiastically. "Thank you for your help." I hung up and wished I had somebody to place a bet with on whether or not I would actually get a call in 30 minutes, if at all. Vegas would have put this at about 50-to-1 odds, I think.

Two days later, I surmised that I had been correct in my estimation. I had not heard back from 'Ms. Jackson,' and I wasn't going to call again, so on the advice of a couple of people I know, I decided to call my city councilmember's office. I dialed the number from Jack Evan's Web site, and was pleasantly surprised by the human voice on the other end of the line that answered. The greeting was a simple and delightfully informal 'Hello?' No machine. No officious sounding tone. It was like I was calling up my best friend and he was just saying 'Yo, what's up?' I asked to speak to the person in charge of issues involving the DMV. The person on the other end of the line said he was that person. He sounded busy, but not brush-offish. Just matter-of-fact and perhaps - could it be - willing to help! Wow! This was too good to be true. I explained to him my story. He was silent during it and I had to pause a couple of times to make sure he was still there. I could hear him typing, so I assumed he was. He asked me a few follow-up questions, took my information and asked for my contact information including (gasp) email. Would I actually get to correspond with people like modern folk do? This was getting scary. I stifled a giddy cry of joy, not sure how he would take it. He said he would contact somebody at the DMV and ask them to follow-up on this. I thanked him for his time and hung up the phone feeling something odd, something I hadn't felt thus far: optimism.

Five minutes later I was copied on an email from the Director of Communications at Jack Evan's office to a woman somewhere in the DC government. (Since she and the guy from Jack Evan's office were nice and helpful, I want to try to keep their names out of the Google index for this post.) Awesome! It was official - in writing. The woman responded within a day saying she would follow up with Ms. Moore and Ms. Jackson at the DMV and get back to me. She wrote back a couple of days later and said that the only Ms. Moore in the department was not familiar with my case, and there was no Ms. Jackson. I was only partially surprised by this knowledge. She apologized for the apparent lack of communication on their part and asked if I could re-tell my story for her. So I did, but this time it was in writing, which was nice. She responded to my email and said she would investigate the matter and get back to me.

About 15 days later, I hadn't heard anything, but I did receive a form letter from 'Adjudication Services' saying: "A hearing examiner considered your written explanation and evidence and applicable District of Columbia traffic law and dismissed the ticket described below." Aside from this being an entirely confusing and awkwardly written sentence, this was great news! My ticket had been dismissed! But how? And by whom? Seeing as I never wrote them a 'written explanation,' I assumed this had been instigated by the person I'd been emailing at the DC government, but I hadn't heard from her. So I sent her an email telling her about the letter I received and inquiring whether there was any update on the status of 'my' Mercedes. She said she'd been out of the office and that she was still waiting to hear from the 'examination officer.' I sent a quick email back, thanking her for her continued help.

And that's where it stands, I suppose I could contact the DMV and have them run a report and see if I still am on record as owning this 2002 Mercedes, but since there is nothing I'd be able to do with the knowledge one way or the other, I'm just going to sit tight and trust that it's all getting worked out. The main lesson I've learned here is: you do have some power in DC - it's called your councilmember's office. I guess I've also learned a secondary lesson: that patience is, indeed, a virtue when resolving these kinds of things.

Stay tuned for Part Trois, wherein I will enter a dream state, leaving this Mercedes-barren reality I've been living all my life, and will finally be reunited with my long lost 2002 Mercedes (and my inner Mercedes-owner sensibility), choking back tears of joy and falling to my knees to kiss its golden trim before the dream dissolves and I find myself being licked by some strange, bedraggled mutt roaming the streets.

link to this | comments (0) | File:  DC