Pleased to Meet You

Friday, March 24, 2006 | comments (6)
Last night I went to a W&L alumni happy hour. I thought it might be a good warm-up for me, as my 10-year college reunion is coming up in May. It turns out that I was the oldest alumni at the happy hour. When confronted with that sort of reality, there's nothing more soothing than downing a pint of Big Hunt brew, which I did . . . twice . . . in rapid succession.

I don't often go to these alumni get-togethers. While I'm proud of my alma mater, there's only so much of it I can take. This is because I quickly become unsettled by how different I am from most people who went to my college and it leads to a sort of mini identity crisis. If you know me and you click on the link to the school above, you'll see what I mean. Catherine can't get over the fact that I went to school here. I'll just say in my defense that, despite the southern conservative backdrop, the professors at this school were actually quite liberal, which made it an overall great experience. But I can't say it wasn't difficult at times to be an unabashedly liberal, grunge-styled Gen X'r at a school whose student body was mostly conservative and nearly 90% greek (and for those of you who don't understand this term, I'm referring to the fact that sororities and fraternities dominated the social scene, not to nationality). This was something that led to a vast amount of angst and cigarette smoking in college among me and my small circle of friends. But now that I am older it just seems humorous. The majority of people who went to my college seem to be at home sporting suits and ties, or dresses that make them look twenty years older than they actually are. Their backgrounds tend to involve things like cotillions, country clubs, and private high-schools. But despite having very different backgrounds and tastes from my own, I have come to realize that most people I meet from my college are generally nice and open to conversation, even if it involves lively debate. And that's a good thing.

Anyway, I digress. Here's what I wanted to talk about: one thing I found myself paying attention to last night was the different way people introduced themselves. In general, most people I meet introduce themselves by their first name only. In fact, of all the people I met recently at SXSWi, this was the standard. But last night, I met a few people who used both their first and last names when introducing themselves. It occurred to me that this sort of introduction left an impression on me that was quite different than if they had only used their first names. Using both names seemed a little more assertive, somehow. Maybe even a little self-aggrandizing. I don't mean to paint this either positively or negatively, because I think the specific effect probably is different depending on the person giving and/or receiving the introduction. But whatever the effect, it definitely seems to call attention to itself. Has anybody else ever noticed this, or is it just me? Thoughts?

Going beyond introductions, it's interesting to note the effect of using a full name when referring to or addressing other people. When parents use first and last names to address a child, it usually means anger. It's meant to instill a certain degree of fear in the child and let them know they've done something stupid, wrong, or both. However, if one of your close friends does it, as in calling you on your cell and saying 'Hey Brad Smith. Where you at?' it would probably just be weird. There was a guy I knew in high school who used a person's first and last name whenever he addressed them in casual conversation. But he did it in such a way that it always seemed funny. It was his brand of humor, I guess. I've tried addressing people this way, but it doesn't really work for me. I prefer using nicknames.

Anyway, at my 10 year reunion, I'll know most of the people I'm likely to hang out with, so there won't be a need for much in the way of introductions. I'll mostly be 'catching up.' But when I do meet people, I'm going to try the first name, last name method on a few people and see how it fits.

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Comments

I have a tendency to go both names. I just always that it was a South thing. Like a good 'ol country boy going to church eatin' grannies fried chicken.

Posted by j on Mar 24, 2006 at 3:56:55 PM
It seems formal to me. However, I think if I had a cool/unique last name I would use it more often as an introduction. To dress up my equally common first name. I am wondering if the people who do that are trying to be more destinctive, formal, or just trying to git some fried chickin?

Posted by Kim on Mar 24, 2006 at 4:05:01 PM
I think you guys are right. Maybe it's a Southern thing. Next time I go for fried chicken, I will be sure to use both names. But I won't seem very Southern with a last name like mine, unless you mean Southern Italy.

Posted by Rothko on Mar 24, 2006 at 4:53:54 PM
I would totally use first and last names when introducing myself if it didn't cause such a stange little pause as the person I am introducing myself to tries to figure out how the hell this mexican got such a white girl name and then oh, wait, wedding ring! nice to meet you Amy Hill my name is...

Posted by Amy on Mar 25, 2006 at 2:46:50 AM
Look here Madam. I do believe that Farmer qualifies as both cool & unique. It's definitely a step up from Sham.

Posted by j on Mar 25, 2006 at 10:30:31 AM
I go First/Last when in a formal setting for business. But only First on a social outing. First/Last at the bar is actually somewhat creepy.



Posted by James on Mar 28, 2006 at 6:03:08 PM

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