And so I responded as any self-respecting person would: by drinking too much and watching a great movie--twice--before passing out on the floor of our basement. Escapism through film and unconsciousness through alcohol are great American pastimes. And Tuesday I was a Patriot.

There's a new physical "feature" on my body. And I've been noticing it lately whenever I happen to be completely naked and looking down at myself or in a full-length mirror.

It's pretty much universally accepted that knowledge is power. But I'm here to tell you that's not always true. Knowledge can also leave you a quivering mass of gelatin, on the hardwood of your dining room.

More heart later. First there is this: Ankylosing Spondylitis.

But the real question I was asking myself, right, was how did I end up being this person having a cardiac stress test?

Okay, call me over-reactionary, but I'm throwing away my Centrum as I write this.

You might hear me make some unpleasant gurgling sounds. You might think I'm choking. But don't let that stop you. Please.

The data is a little out of date, but it looks like if you're from LA, you might start investing in a new lung now . . .

So . . . how about them Broncos Monday night! It was so great to watch them play at home at Invesco field in that cold rain. Football always seems to be more fun to watch when it's played in the cold . . . or the rain. And it's even better in the snow.

Dr. Smith nodded and scribbled something on the back of a piece of paper that was in my file. He held the pen like you might hold a paint brush and made a sort of circular drawing on the page. Then he looked back up at me expectantly.