I have a hard time letting go of things. No, really. I know it's hard for some of you to believe. But it's true. I tend to do a bit of the Dwelling. Upon subjects ranging from what to have for breakfast (Is it really safe to have grits, again? Answer: Yes. Of course.) to more serious things like what to put in a glass of scotch (Drambuie, Amaretto ... or just rocks? Answer: Just the ice, Daddy. This isn't the 60s.) But one of my favorite things to dwell on is travel, especially of the air variety. I've written before about this topic, right before a trip to the same place I'm going this weekend, in fact, so I'm sorry to be redundant. But this time, I've got a new source for my Fret: Honey.

It's hard to believe, but this will mark the first time I've been away from Honey for longer than a day since I brought her home back in April. Now, she won't be totally alone. C is staying behind, so she'll be able to take care of her most of the time. And I'm sure she'll do an excellent job. But just in case, it can't hurt for me to type up a page full of instructions for her, can it? And just give her some tips about things. You know, like how much food to give her. And what times we go for walks. And when and where she might poop. Or the more practical stuff ... like how she likes her pillow fluffed. Or how she appreciates her kong served with a side of caviar. And how she usually enjoys hugs and lots of belly-rubbing when she wakes up from naps.

See, the thing is ... C just doesn't have my penchant for pampering Honey silly. She takes a slightly different approach. She treats Honey kind of like ... a dog. And I'm not sure how I feel about it, honestly. Like this morning. As a good "warm-up," I decided to linger in bed and let C take Honey out for her morning two pees and a poo. This happens every morning at 6:30. Pee in spot one. Pee in spot two. Poop in random location to be decided. You could set your watch to it. C has done this job in the past. She knows the routine. In fact, I think she invented it. But I've taken the job over more and more for two reasons: C likes to hit snooze, and I suffer from a slight case of OCD. But I've grown to kind of like the morning trek outside. And what I've learned is that Honey needs support when she does her business. She needs encouragement and congratulations. But this morning C decided to just change all of that up, and to just stand at the back door while Honey went out to do her stuff. I heard the door open and close ... a little too quickly. So I had to get up and investigate.

"That was quick."

"Yeah, I just stood at the back door and let her go out by herself."

"What?!"

"Yeah."

"Did she poop?"

"No. She just peed."

"Well, of course she just peed! But she needs to poop. I mean, there is poop in her butt ready to come out. She just doesn't realize it."

"I thought it would be a good experiment."

Head-shaking. Sighing. Exasperation.

Needless to say, I took her out to poo.

I'm not sure if it was entirely clear or not, but there was OCD, and a touch of the morning grogginess to blame for this little tirade. I weren't always so level-headed, folks.

I admit it: I'm guilty of a little pampering. And so I guess my biggest worry about leaving for a few days is that Honey will just be too sad without me around and will decide she can't take it any longer and propel herself through a second-story window. I just see her waking up each morning and doing her butt-shake, foot-stomping thing over to my side of the bed, her ears back, her tail wagging, only to find that I'm not there. And I imagine this will crush her soul like nothing else in her six months on this earth. And she'll fall into a fit of depression and start hitting the bottle and smoking Pall Malls. And I'll come back home, and say, "Look Honey, it's me! I'm back!! It's okay now. All will be right with the world." But it will be too late. I'll have an alcoholic, chain-smoking dog on my hands. And she'll never forgive me for the pain and suffering I've caused her.

The truth is she'll probably see the empty spot on the bed and be sad for about the time it takes her to realize it's time for breakfast. Then she'll quickly go back to pondering the tragedy of leashes. Or dreaming about giant rawhides covered with bowlfuls of melted provolone cheese. Or peanut-butter-and-chicken stuffed kongs dancing with giant, day-glo pull-toys on a road paved with jerky treats. Yeah, she's probably more likely to pine over the neighbor's dog, Riley, than she is over me. And how she'd like to chase him in the back yard and lick at his slobbery mouth until it makes all the humans nearby want to vomit.

The truth is I'm the one who's going to miss her. I'm going to miss the routine of taking care of her. Of going for walks. Of teaching her tricks. Of giving her belly-rubs and hugs and kisses on the snout. It's me who's going to have the separation anxiety. I'm the one with issues, here. Clearly.

So if you see me, unshaven and unbathed. Passed out somewhere in Big-D with a bottle of Dewars in one hand, mumbling something about don't forget her bed-time snack, just look the other way. I'll be better in a few days. It's just my way of dealing.

link to this | comments (7) | File:  Travel  Honey 

And God said, "Yea, do not be proud or boastful about your good and plenty space. For verily I say unto thee, no matter how much of it you have, there will never be enough room in your bathroom to put all your bathroom shit. And so you will need to find other, less convenient places to put some things. And yea, there will be times when you will have to run through your house wet and naked in order to find them. But do not be angry or gnash your teeth. For this is the way of things. And it is good. Because I have made it so."

link to this | comments (5) | File:  Ho_Hum 

This race is one of the most exciting things I've seen. Ever. The French eat a little crow as Lezak comes from behind and out-touches Bernard by 8/100's of a second. I think what makes it more incredible is that not only did the US shatter the previous world record in the process (by almost 4 seconds), but the next five teams to touch the wall also came in under world-record time. Better, stronger, faster ... this is a new age of swimming ya'll.

link to this | comments (2) | File:  Swimming  Sports  Olympics 

Michael Phelps could win 8 gold medals in Beijing this year, beating Mark Spitz's 7 golds in the 1972 Munich Games. The media has really played up this potential record-breaking feat, making comparisons between the two swimmers, Phelps and Spitz. And Phelps is doing his own bit to build up the hype, as demonstrated by the Spitz-like mustache he was sporting when he arrived in Beijing on Monday. Phelps has been lauded as possibly the fastest all-around swimmer ... ever. And if you're just looking at the times, then I guess it's not entirely wrong to say that. If you're just looking at the times.

On the women's team there is another story the media has grasped a hold of: Dara Torres, 41 years old and mother of a two-year-old daughter, is swimming in her 5th Olympics. Amazingly, her time in the 100m free at the qualifying meet, where she came in first just touching out Natalie Coughlin, is a full 2.47 seconds faster than her time in the 1988 Olympics, when she was 21. And 2.47 seconds is pretty significant for a sprint like the 100m. Side note: even though this swim qualified her to swim the 100m in Beijing, she decided to withdraw from it so she could concentrate on her best event—the 50m free.

There are a couple of levels of interest with the Torres story. First and foremost is the feel-good, wow, isn't it great?! sort of reaction you get from people in their 30s and 40s who appreciate knowing that it's still within the realm of possibility for somebody their age to make these sorts of achievements. Torres is sweet confirmation to aging athletes that, hey, I can still whip a 20-year-old's ass if I put my mind to it! Of course, the black cloud some people love to paint over this story is the possibility of doping. How else, they ask, does a 41-year-old recent mother qualify for the Olympics and in so doing beat her own time from when she was 20 years younger? Torres knew this would be an issue and so she has made herself an open book, volunteering for a new pilot program from the USADA where she is required to give urine and five vials of blood every few weeks. For this reason, I happen to believe Torres is clean. Of course, I also believe this because I want to believe it. But come on, there's something to be said for the fact that she's making herself an open book to the USADA. I mean why would you do that—how could you do that?—if you weren't clean? So yes ... I'm with this guy even though some have been more skeptical.

Actually, the fact that Torres is recording better times at 41 than she did 20 years ago makes a lot of sense in some ways, because the sport of swimming has changed so much in the last 40 years. Research has lead to improvements in training regimes and, perhaps more importantly, swim suits. Back in the 80s and early 90s, when I was competing, the idea of a fast suit was "as little suit as possible." Many of today's suits take the opposite approach, covering most of the thighs and the chest, even for men. One of the thoughts behind these is that the suits squeeze muscles taught, reducing drag, and actually helping muscle recovery after a swim. The materials used to make these suits are also a factor, specially designed to glide through water, not unlike a shark's skin.

I don't mean to take away from the accomplishment of a 41-year-old conditioning her body to swim as fast as people half her age. But when you factor in all that's changed with the sport in this time, it kind of makes sense that the 41-year-old Torres can swim 2.47 seconds faster than the 21-year-old Torres. It's not that her younger self could not have swam that fast. She actually had it in her. She just lacked the right preparation and gear. Maybe she would have even swam faster back then, all things being equal.

Which brings me back to Phelps and the "fastest swimmer ever" title. Can we really make the claim that Phelps is "the fastest swimmer ever?" In one sense, yes, of course we can: He's got the fastest times. Duh. But the times are only half the story here. Is it possible to make any sort of meaningful comparison between Phelps and great swimmers of the past, people like Spitz, or my personal idol as a kid Matt Biondi, or Ian Thorpe. People who—in their time—were also considered the fastest. When Spitz raced in Munich in 1972, he didn't wear a cap or goggles (goggles were not allowed, apparently). He didn't even shave his mustache, something that people would consider absolutely crazy today. Also, as far as sports drinks, Gatorade was it ... and it had only been on the scene for a couple of years. The high-performance energy drinks and supplements we have today just weren't around. Jump ahead to Matt Biondi—he wore the skimpy suit all male swimmers wore at the time, his muscles flapping around all willy-nilly like, creating drag. What if he had worn the LZR suit by Speedo. Could he have been as fast as Phelps in a side-by-side race?

In 1972, Spitz swam the 200m free in 1:52.78. Biondi swam a 1:47.99 in Seoul in 1988. Twelve years later, Pieter van den Hoogenband won Gold in Sidney with a 1:45.99. And four years after that Ian Thorpe (The Thorpedo) took Gold in Athens with 1:44.71. Last year at the World Championship in Australia, Michael Phelps, who is a favorite in the event in Beijing, went a 1:43.86 for the new World Record. That's almost a full 9 seconds in 36 years. This is just looking at one event in mens racing. But the same sorts of strides are happening in other events and on the female side, as well. And the interesting thing about Dara Torres is that we see this trend of faster times in the same swimmer, despite an increase in age.

So the question I always wonder is this: When does it stop? When does the playing field level out? And at what point can we definitively say, "This person here, this is the fastest swimmer ever." There's got to be a point when people just won't go any faster, where the record just stays on the books for years and years. Right? I mean at some point it has to stop. Because doing the 200m free in under 1:30 ... that's an impossibility. I mean ... isn't it?

link to this | comments (5) | File:  Swimming  Sports 

I'm bringing back the "mini posts" here in order to say ... I'm joining a support group.

link to this | comments (2) | File:  Pop_Culture  Ho_Hum 

One of the things I love most about having work to do is that it forces me to procrastinate. I like to say that it gives my procrastination purpose. And one of my favorite ways to procrastinate with purpose is to add new features to this blog.

Now, I know that, with a few exceptions, an increasing number of you read this via a feed reader. And I can respect that. It allows you to put off reading certain posts that look far too amazing for the frame of mind you are currently in, and save them for a time when you can pour over every word and marvel at my mastery of prose. (You might also call this "Getting Caught Up" or "Selecting All and Marking as Read"). I get it.

But all of you feed-reader types are missing out on a few new "Bite Sized" features I've added to the site. Since we all love bullet lists, here they are:

1) The Picayune: If you've been here for a while you know that I used to break up my long posts with smaller ones. Asides, if you will. I've brought these back. Partly because my brain is thinking more in "Asides" these days. And partly because I realize long-winded posts don't go over well on the Internets. These will actually get integrated into the feed, so feed-readers won't notice much of a difference, except that there are smaller posts coming through. If you stop by the home page, though, The Picayune will be beneath the photo feature.

2) Twitterized: I was a late comer to Twitter. I resisted it for a while and scoffed at micro-blogging in general. But I'm developing an appreciation for it now. And yes, I'm Twittering. My Tweets now appear here on the home page, below the fold. By the way, if you read this and you Twitter and I'm not following you, let me know.

3) Deliciousness: Also below the fold is a public feed from my Delicious bookmarks. These are mostly just random articles I've read and which I feel like sharing. Nothing big, but it's there.

Finally, one other content note: I recently added a way for you to browse through all photos in the the Photo Blog. In the past, you had to click forwards and backwards through the entire collection of hundreds of photos. Now you can "View All" and easily click through the whole archive. I owe thanks to the creator of ThickBox for the nifty Ajax-y interface.

Okay. That is all. Except for this: It's August! The beginning of the end of summer. That means cooler weather is on its way. And this year, like there is every four years, there's a wonderful bonus ... Olympic Swimming starts in just eight days! Yee-haw! I will be spending most of my time here.

link to this | comments (2) | File:  Swimming  Olympics  Nicolasix  Blog